Not the new girl-whale, but it would be very feminist if the girl-whale balanced a dead fish on its nose OCEAN WISE RESEARCH
Monkeypox confirmed: The CDC confirmed the monkeypox infection we heard about earlier this week in King County. We are not supposed to freak out. Secretary of Health Dr. Umair Shah said, “Despite the news of multiple cases nationwide, monkeypox is a very rare disease in the United States, and the Washington resident who tested positive does not pose a public health risk.”
Germany recommended that its residents isolate for 21 days if they come down with monkeypox, but America is less concerned with mandates. I mean, holy shit, we sucked at locking down and the government sucked at making it financially feasible to do so. Hopefully the experts are right and this truly won’t be a COVID Part Two: Electric Boogaloo, because we still don’t have the OG plague figured out.
Anyway! Time for a huge gathering! Just kidding. Folklife, returning after two years, is outside.
If you’re not going to Folklife, you may be ditching town to celebrate the long weekend. KING 5 warned that road-trippers will see steep gas prices, so might I suggest taking a bus or a ferry to a fun weekend getaway?
Speaking of which, you have like one hour to email me where I should go this weekend. I only have Sunday and Monday, so what are your fav local day trips?
Borracchini’s is burning, the Seattle Times reports. The beloved bakery has been vacant since it closed last year after a 100-year run.
In come the copycats: Days after the massacre in Texas, a middle school in Wisconsin went into lockdown in response to a gun threat. The threat turned out to be a hoax, but the student who made that threat got suspended and could face expulsion.
Closer to home: A high school and a middle school in Everett went into lockdown this morning “out of an abundance of caution” after the cops received a report of a firearm near campus. It turned out to be an airsoft gun, but the cops “recovered” it and the schools lifted their lockdowns.
Uvalde update: The cops held a press conference today to try and iron out their inconsistent narrative and save face after completely failing to serve and protect, or whatever the Blue Lives Matter crowd says as they foam at the mouth.
The cops also seemed to partly blame the shooting on a teacher for propping open a door. Expect the right wing to take this assertion of fact, which may or may not be true, and run with it. “If only that teacher had kept the door closed…” Nonsense. Nothing about this is the fault of any of the victims inside. And no teacher door-closing-training is going to prevent future attacks.
Too good to be true: As ironic as it would have been, AP News rained on the parades of lovers of funny misinformation. Senator Ted Cruz, though grossly incomponent and unwilling to protect school children, did not tweet the same shit after 12 mass shootings as a screenshot online claimed.
Homeowners getting fucked, too: Mortgage payments are a-climbin’!
J59 is a beautiful name for a baby girl: The Center for Whale Research shared a video that showed the newest addition to the J pod is female.
Real Change also posting hole:
Big W for Q: Jo Rae Perkins, a QAnon believer, won Oregon’s Republican U.S. Senate primary. She has stiff competition though, as she will face off against four-term Democratic Sen. Ron Wyden, who is expected to crush her with little effort in the blue state.
A house blew up in Pennsylvania: AP News reported five dead and two injured in a home explosion. The cause of the explosion is still under investigation.
News that I feel like at least one person will appreciate, perhaps:
🔺 EXCLUSIVE: Wimbledon is replacing its honours boards before next month’s championships to remove the titles “Miss” and “Mrs” in front of the names of female winners in order to replicate the men’s boards https://t.co/E2QhehyP2o
— Times Sport (@TimesSport) May 26, 2022
The war continues: Here is the latest on the ongoing Russian invasion of Ukraine.